Photo credit: Ian Schneider for Unsplash
What are your New Year’s resolutions? Losing 20 pounds, running a marathon, or fitting into a certain size are common aspirations. While these goals are tangible and measurable, they often serve as proxies for the underlying needs we are trying to meet. The desire to lose weight may be a quest for confidence; the drive to run a marathon may symbolize perseverance; and fitting into a specific size could be linked to a sense of accomplishment.
As such, rather than simply fixating on the outward manifestations, what if we delved into the core emotions instead? In other words, how can we reshape our resolutions to emphasize the underlying emotions driving our aspirations?
How can we reshape our resolutions to emphasize the underlying emotions driving our aspirations?
One powerful approach is to identify the thoughts that hinder our underlying needs. For example, if we want to increase our confidence, we can write down five recurring thoughts that chip away at our self-assurance, such as “I don’t think I can do this” or “I’m not good enough.”
We can then take these self-limiting beliefs and rewrite them into positive statements. For example, “I don’t think I can do this,” becomes “I can do this” and “I’m not good enough,” becomes “I am good enough.”
Then, write these positive statements onto high-exposure areas, such as your bathroom mirror or your phone’s wallpaper. Whenever you notice yourself saying things that hurt your self-confidence, you can stop and replace them with these positive statements instead.
The great thing about this approach is that it allows us to push ourselves and comfort ourselves simultaneously. The fear of change is counteracted by the reassurance that it’s a temporary experiment. It’s a powerful tool that enables us to explore uncharted territories of thought while maintaining a safety net of familiarity by limiting the commitment to just one year.
Whenever fear creeps in, we can comfort ourselves with the thought, “Hey, this is just something I’m trying out for one year. If it doesn’t work out, I can always return to how things were.”
As we embark on this journey of self-transformation, recognize that change takes time. Reshaping our mindset is a gradual process that requires patience and commitment. Rather than expecting immediate results, focus on the progress made along the way. Celebrate the small victories, whether completing a challenging workout or overcoming a self-doubt hurdle.
By prioritizing the emotional essence of our resolutions, we create a more sustainable path to personal growth. The journey becomes less about reaching a specific destination and more about embracing the evolving process of self-discovery. By the time one year has passed, this new mindset won’t feel awkward or strange anymore; it will simply be the new you.
If gaining more confidence and shedding 20 pounds isn’t your goal, here are some other life-changing mindset resolutions you may consider for the New Year:
Letting Go of Others’ Opinions: Stop putting too much weight into what other people think of you. Embrace the understanding that, except in very specific instances, what others think of you is none of your business. By relinquishing the need for external validation, you empower yourself to live authentically and true to your own values. Emotional Needs: Authenticity, self-validation Statements: I accept myself unconditionally. I am worthy of acceptance and respect from others and myself.
Trusting Your Instincts: Resolve to follow your gut instincts and have complete faith in yourself. Trusting your intuition allows for more confident decision-making and fosters a deeper connection with your authentic self. Embrace the wisdom within you and let it guide you toward fulfilling your goals and aspirations. Emotional Needs: Confidence, self-trust Statements: I trust myself; therefore, I listen to my body and intuition. I make decisions that are best for me.
Taking Things Impersonally: Commit to take everything impersonally unless proven otherwise. Recognize that people's actions and words are often a reflection of their own experiences and perspectives. By not internalizing external events, you cultivate emotional resilience and maintain a balanced, centred mindset when facing challenges. Emotional Needs: Emotional resilience, balance Statements: Most things in life are not personal. In my life, I decide whose opinions matter. Right now, I choose to see this person's behaviour as something impersonal.
Embracing Uncertainty: Release the need to control situations that are out of your control. Rather, have faith and confidence that you can handle anything that comes your way. Life is unpredictable, and accepting uncertainty is a powerful step toward personal growth. By embracing the unknown, you open yourself to new opportunities and possibilities. Emotional Needs: Faith, security Statement: The future holds many good things for me. I can handle anything that comes my way.
By focusing on these emotional needs, we naturally pave the way to accomplishing our physical goals. For instance, if the underlying need is greater confidence, we may find ourselves more willing to go to the gym because we believe we are worthy of a better self-image. Over time, our increased confidence will propel us toward losing those 20 pounds we initially wanted to shed.
By shifting our focus from physical goals to emotional well-being, we unlock profound potential for self-discovery and growth.
By shifting our focus from physical goals to emotional well-being, we unlock profound potential for self-discovery and growth. For 2024, let’s embrace the power of mindset to shape a more confident, empowered, and fulfilling life.
If you are ready to make that change, contact me today for a complimentary discovery call.
This article was originally published in Connected Wellness Magazine,
Issue 7, December 2023.
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